my place, my pace

2012-02-05T02:15:00.000-08:00

It's me... Not you..

2012-02-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

2012-02-01T06:05:00.000-08:00

....sigh

I'm gonna look like a freaking fat old lady by the time peak is over :(

A day in Su Yen's life

2012-01-14T10:22:00.000-08:00

A day in Su Yen's Life:

8 am - get up
8.30 am - go down for breakfast
9 am - leave for clients office
9.15 am - reach clients office and start work
1 pm - lunch
1.30 pm - 2 pm - come back and continue work
7 pm - 8 pm - go for dinner and go back to the hotel to take a bath
9 pm - leave for clients office
9.15 pm - reach clients and continue work
2 am - 3 am - leave the clients office
3.30 am - sleep

and the cycle repeats itself....I seriously wonder why the hell I chose to do audit when a job involving PR or at least talking to people would make me so much happier than facing my computer and numbers every single day...someone please tell me how to survive 3 freaking year!! @.@ I'm not even done with one........

Third Day of the year!

2012-01-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

It's new year already!!! O.O"

Sigh..another year has passed...also meaning that I am a year older.. Stupid Sherlene reminded me =.=" Seriously! That girl is soooooo mean!! She calls me mean...but OMG...you should hear her...hahaha

I haven't bought my CNY clothes and I'm leaving for Johor either tomorrow night or day after. Not coming back until CNY :( so sad. I don't get to make cookies this year. Don't get to go shopping with everyone this year. Don't get to hear my mum screaming at me to clean up my room.. hehe.. But I have detoured from the topic of how Sher was so mean.

So, I was telling her and Stephie how I can't go shopping for my CNY clothes cause I really don't think that I am going to have the time when I get down to JB (work like mad and all = auditors life) . And she said, "It's ok la. You are OLD ALREADY. Don't need to buy new clothes." =.=" Thanks for the reminder Sher.. hahaha... It was totally "appreciated".

Then she was mean to Brian the VT and Stephie also! But I shall not elaborate how..lol

Then, later on in the afternoon, I was looking at a blank excel sheet and I smelled smoke behind me, so I turned to the side and was shocked to see Sher and Stephies boss standing beside me talking to Stephie about some work. So I quickly switched my tabs so that I was looking at actual work. And Sher, (God Bless the blurrrr girl) put her head on my shoulder and told me, "My new years resolution is to go to a beach this year". lol.. And she was actually searching for beaches on the computer.. In the open for the whole world to see... When her BOSS is standing beside me..hahaha! Then I whispered to her, "Sher, your boss is beside me". OMG!! hahaha...you should have seen her reaction. She was so panicked switching the tabs on her computer! hahaha!!

And the worst part was, I started laughing like mad.. And I really couldn't understand why her boss and Stephie were looking at the both of us like we were some kind of weird aliens for a few seconds, until later... jeng jeng jeng...

It seems that her boss had just called someone a F****r when the both of us started laughing like mad. As they didn't know what we were laughing about. They just assumed that we had been laughing at him calling someone that word. @.@" Seriously embarassing lo... but I still couldn't stop laughing. The look on Sherlenes' face was really really priceless!

And then, today, I left office at 5.30 sharp. Mana tau, bumped into tdx outside the office door. He was going to the mens and his friend was waiting for him. When he saw me with my bag and all, he pointed his finger at me and looked super indignant that I got to leave so early. And I did something that only someone like me would do... I waved at him and said bye!!! while laughing all the way...hahaha

I was hoping that the lift would come before he came out of the mens cause then I would be able to go down without having the see him again. But luck just wasn't on my side.. He came out just in time to catch the lift.

In my head, I could see myself screaming "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! and the doors closing... and his fingers suddenly in the middle pulling the doors open!! With all the strenght and might of Thor! or The Hulk! (whoever is stronger)... just to catch me going home early (actually on time la.. but according to auditors.. its like sneaking out of work? @.@)

hahaha...but none of that happened :) He just walked in and said, "you got nothing to do ar?" And me being stupid, said, "At the moment nothing lo" (with an extremely sad face). And then he proceeded to tell me that if I got nothing to do tomorrow, he got things for me to do..hahaha.. that was totally expected la...but his friend whoever it was, was laughing..

So yes, that concluded the third day of the year in su yen's life..

** I still haven't finished packing :( I'm sitting here writing while procrastinating..sobs.. And seriously, I've been feeling damn lazy this year...have to buck up already. If not, I'm going to be worthless @.@"

23rd December 2011

2011-12-24T19:45:00.000-08:00

The morning was kind of a sad day :( cause everyone was out of office! Seriously, there were only 4 people in the whole fish tank!! Super sad...hahaha...plus, I didn't know any of them. Luckily for me, TTT was in office so I had someone to go for lunch with :) Then Xun Lee came back after lunch...so I had someone to talk to.. Seriously, I don't know how I would live without talking XD

Anyway, I logged in to FB and saw the girls msgs. lol.. I totally forgot about dinner! Good thing I saw the messages in the morning. Was actually going to meet up with Neil, but then they had already asked me out wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy earlier... So.... yeah..hahaha

At first Xun Lee was gonna be a super kind person and drop me off at one utama :) but then, May called and said that she had gotten off work early so she could pick me up! Then she got lost... jeng jeng jeng... nothing unusual la..it IS May after all.. hahaha... but I managed to save her and get her to uptown *round of applause for me* :)

The parking lot was soooooo super jammed up! We spent close to an hour looking for parking! Went from the new wing to the old wing..hahaha. The funny thing was, when you go into the parking, If you aren't using one card, you would press the button for the ticket right? XD May started tapping the one card sign..hahaha! I was wondering what she was doing tapping the sign.. And she looked so puzzled as to why the parking ticket wasn't coming out!! lol.. Then she suddenly realised what she was doing and drove forward to get the correct machine XD

We had dinner at Seoul Garden.. which wasn't amazing.. but acceptable.. lol.. Seriously, Wai Wai cannot cook.. Everything she BBQ-d was really really really BBQ-d hahaha.. We left at about 10++ when the shops were closed.. and as usual.. we were the last ones to leave the shop :)

2011-12-24T19:32:00.000-08:00

The crepe/layer cakes that we had in Nadeje :)

2011-12-15T05:12:00.000-08:00

I've known these people for 3 years now :)

And we've gone through heaven and hell together. I never actually thought that I would miss them this much but I guess when you see them everyday for 3 years and suddenly don't see them again, you tend to feel sad :(

I was looking at the pictures and...it just made me miss them more...

Year 1 when we were all young and innocent and excited!

We even bought a group T-shirt so that we could take a beaustiful group picture :)

Year 2 was spent planning for perhentian...and we made it! :)
The guys were all happy though I have no idea why Jack had a super glum face on..hahaha

Our group picture...with me and my super short hair O.O"
I seriously regret cutting my hair again...it practically looks like this again...right now! lol

It was supposed to be Bali...and the earthquke happened..
It was supposed to be Thailand...and the PARENTS happened...
So we ended up in Langkawi :)

Our 3rd year and last trip together before everyone went back to their hometowns..
Our biggest group ever too! Group 5 grew bigger..

You know, I'm probably going to spend alot of time looking back at this pictures and wondering why the hell I decided to start working so early instead of taking a longer break..lol

BUT OUR NEXT TRIP IS IN 2 YEARS..
AND WE'RE GONNA CLIMB MOUNT KK PEOPLE!
SO SAVE YOUR MONEY AND START EXERCISING!

:)

Malacca!

2011-12-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

Went to Malacca this weekend and people came up to visit! By people, I mean Jocelyn, Jun Yen, Matthew, Ambrose and Wei Yan :)

They were supposed to leave KL at 8 am. I said SUPPOSED. I guess I should have known better. A bunch of auditors? No way they would be on time. hahaha. Anyway, at 9 am I got an sms saying, on the way now. Meaning they just left??! XD

It turns out that it was due to my sugar partner who was thinking of FFK-ing all of us. The little piggy slept so well that it only got up at 8.15 am. The most amazing thing is that she was the only one who had breakfast!! hahaha..

Anyway, since they were soooooooooooo late, I followed my parents and aunts out for breakfast in town. I can't believe I ate so much =.=" I had one nasi lemak, one wan tan mee, and 2 sets of toasted butter kaya bread @.@ I'm seriously gonna get fat if I continue like that...sigh

And then, we went to get my hair cut....I seriously regret it...hahaha.. My parents said it was so messy cut it! CUT IT! So, being the good daughter I am, I cut it :( and now, I look like some 5 year old kid! lol.. Ok la.. Maybe it's not THAT bad, but its really short and china doll is.. totally straight. Plus the fringe... I think the worst part is the short fringe O.O

So, then they called me and said they were almost there and I had to rush back cause now that we've moved to the new area around MITC it takes a freaking half an hour to get to town.. They ended up having to wait for me :) but I didnt take that long la.

The first place that we went to was Jonker Street. I'm seriously amazed that I was able to lead them to town...and even get to Jonker Street! hahaha...thought we would get lost! First stop was chicken rice balls. Somehow, they tasted better the last time around. Don't know why though. Then we went further down to get the cendol. It was the 'famous' Jonker street cendol, but I personally feel that the old timers Jalan Bunga Raya cendol and ais kacang is much better! XD

After that, we contemplated driving to Dataran Pahlawan for the layer cake. But then considering the lack of parking spaces in Malacca and also the jam all around, we decided to walk! Good excercise? lol...again, I was the perfect walking GPS! We got there without getting lost! :) hehe... I know you might say, "Hey! Jonker to dataran pahlawan is not far la! So near how to get lost??" lol... But for someone with my sense of direction, this is a super achievement!

Anyway, we ended up getting lost IN dataran pahlawan..hahaha.. that wasn't my fault..I warned them that I didn't know the inside of the place. The one thing that I really have to complain about is the layout of the layout of the place! It's so messed up! And to get to a toilet, you have to walk for almost 15 mins.. I don't get why a mall that big doesn't have multiple toilets =.="

Anyway, when we found Nadeje (the layer cake/crepe cake shop), the place was so packed. Like that was a surprise (*rolls eyes*). Like seriously, everywhere we went, we had to queue.... Thank goodness I am only a tourist when friends visit.. hahaha.. I'd die if I had to queue like that everytime I wanted to get something to eat in Malacca.

I took pictures of the cakes!! :) But unfortunately, you don't get to see them yet cause I haven't put them in the computer. Anyway, we originally ordered 5 slices, but we only got 4. Supposedly, the 5th slice was out of stock! But when I ordered it, they didn't say anything. And, there were 6 slices left in the refrigerator thing! So, whatever la...sigh...I really wanted that double chocolate one! The others we took were the original, cheese, strawberry and green tea. Overall, I'd say it wasn't too bad. I want to try to make it! :) Can't be much harder than my cheesecake.

Anyway, we adjourned to the satay place after that. Satay babi! Which is not available in KL. They ate so little. Only 20 sticks! My sister can finish more than 20 sticks for tea lo! It's so small. But I guess they were trying to limit the amount they ate..

Last stop was, satay celup. The super famous queue for an hour capitol satay celup. I don't really like satay celup. I always encourage people not to eat satay celup. Hahaha...but since they wanted to, we went there. We reached at 5 and there was a queue already!

I couldn't help but stare at the drain while waiting. It was soooooooooo dirty.. And there were bubbles bubbling up and everything O.O wonder what was under there. Anyway, while waiting, we started talking about cartoons. Random right? hahaha... We agreed that teletubbies was and is one of the worst cartoons of all time. And then we talked about pinky and the brain, dexters lab, barney, totally spies, spongebob, powerpuff girls...etc! :)

After close to an hour of discussing cartoons, we finally got in!! hahaha...i don't know if they enjoyed it la.. but we started our journey back after satay celup.. Wanted to bring them for O chien.. But they gave up edi ^^

We got into the place after close to an hour of waiting!

2011-11-29T06:33:00.000-08:00

I really don't know why but I haven't been feeling good the whole day long. I was fine in the morning but just before lunch, I was extremely grumpy. I was so mean to Matthew.....and then being me, I felt so bad that I apologised. Trying to figure out what is bothering me cause I know that I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight if I can't solve my problem. The biggest problem now is not knowing what is bothering me. Sigh.

Or maybe I know what is bothering me but I just don't want to face it. Jack's not around anymore so I can't talk to him and ask him to troubleshoot my problem for me. Everything just freaking annoys me. I feel like I need to scream but I can't do that here. I want to punch or hit something but I'm too scared I'll hurt myself. I really need someone to talk to...but there's no one around that I can talk to....

2011-11-27T22:00:00.000-08:00

It feels so good to be back in KL! :)

Johor wasn't too bad. But there's nothing like being back in KL with my bed and soft toys and friends and everything! hahaha... I didn't really miss home while I was away. But now that I'm back................. hehe..

Anyway, we were supposed to be in a hotel room. But the aircond was spoiled and so we were "upgraded" to the villa instead. I know, the villa is supposed to be amazing and everything. Much better than just a room. But you'll see why I put it in inverted commas in awhile :)

The first night I was there, I heard noises in my room :( like furniture sounds. For awhile, I thought that it was my colleague opening his cupboard in the next room. However, I later found out that it wasn't him!! And that he had been hearing the same noises as well O.O" so yeah....scary..

Then, later that night, we were watching tv downstairs when my senior said, "hey, theres a hole in the ceiling right next to the aircond. And they were joking about how a rat was going to fall out of the hole since the hole led to the roof and we had been hearing the sound of pattering feet...hahaha...

A few minutes later, a BAT flew in from the hole =.=" talk about bad luck..hahaha The bat just flew all around and we're guessing that it was pretty lost la.. It flew and flew and went upstairs! @.@ my room is up stairs!!!! and when we were trying to go up, it started flying at us!!!

lol..The next animal to visit us was a squirrel. I got back from work to find that my room door was closed and when I opened the door, oh boy...if smells could kill, this one would. The stupid cleaners went and locked the squirrel in my room =.=" SO STUPID!! Who the hell locks a bloody animal in the guest room? My toilet was a mess, the soap was on the floor, the squirrel toppled the vase over, atacked the tissue and peed all around my sink @.@ WORST PART WAS THAT IT PEED ON MY BAG =.=" thank goodness I zipped up my bag before i left that day...

like seriously, if I was paying to stay there, I would have made a super fuss...

But I wasn't, so I shifted into Hui Ki's room for the remaining 2 nights...and I am super glad to be home where my room is clean and there are no bats and squirrels and cleaners who lock squirrels in my room...hahaha!

:)

2011-11-09T00:19:00.000-08:00

I want you and yet I don't.

Confusing much?

Basically, I don't know what I want...

I think I want it...but then again, what if I end up regretting it?

But if I don't take it, what if I end up wishing I did?

Both ways, someone gets hurt...

2011-10-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

There was a time when I used to say I wish I was older...
Now I say i wish i was younger...

Just shows how much older I am now..and it sucks...

I've really been thinking about things as I'm not sure that this is the line I want to stay in. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing here. Why am I here in the first place? I find the job challenging, which actually makes it pretty interesting and that in turn makes me feel like staying. But a job isn't just about the job. It's also about what happens during the job, the people you meet on the job, the environment, etc. The job itself may actually be interesting. But sometimes, things that happen just make you feel like quitting.

I really want to stay. It's like a challenge cause friends and family members somehow don't think that I will actually stick to this job.

2011-10-23T04:56:00.000-07:00

You know, sometimes I really wonder if I am weird. I laugh all the time. I talk alot. I joke alot. I tease people and get teased alot. Sometimes I get really scared that people won't get the joke and be insulted instead. So I keep quite. But when I do that, I get called unsociable instead. O.O"

There's no middle road.
There's only one road.
There may be two roads.
But there's still only one for me.
I chose this line.
Eventhough I knew that I wouldn't really enjoy it.
Does that make me weird?

I keep choosing things that I know won't make me happy. I do things for people but I don't do as much for myself. For once, I'd like to be selfish and do what I want. For once, I'd like to not feel bad for people. For once, I'd like to grab whatever I want without thinking about the consequences or other peoples feelings.

But if I did that, I'd be the kind of person that I wouldn't like.

2011-10-23T04:42:00.000-07:00

Gosh...I haven't blogged here for such a long time...hahaha...

Gosh seems to be my new fav word! :)
Sighing seems to be my new fav passtime..
And feeling left out seems to my new fav emotion...

O.O"

hahaha!!! Work is .................................

I've been told that I am unsociable...
I've been told that I am weird...
I've been told that I am not unsociable...
and I say I'm special not weird...

Gosh, I'm so random! hahahaha

2011-06-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

I caught the picture of this eagle in Langkawi. And wouldn't it be nice if I could soar high and free like it :)

Coma like peace..

2011-06-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

I was just sitting around as usual, and the noise around me was extreme. And i suddenly thought about comas'. I know I'm weird, but it suddenly hit me, people in a coma have peace. Sort of peace..I mean if you take into accounts horror coma stories where the person is in the dark and cannot escape and all that stuff then there's not a lot of peace la. But considering that coma in greek actually means a deep sleep, it would mean that you're just asleep..which would be nice.

Every night nowadays, I sit in bed from midnight until 3 or 4 am trying to get to sleep. And when i finally do, I get up at around 7 plus or eight. If I'm lucky, 9. I never realised how wonderful it was to be able to sleep until I couldn't sleep.

This normally happens to me. But only around exams. When it happened during the exams, i told myself, you'll sleep when they're over. And then when the exams were over and this continued, I told myself, don't worry, maybe you just need to relax and go on the holiday and you'll be fine. And then, the holidays ended and I came back to KL. It still went on. I said, ok, you're waiting for results so you're stressed. Don't worry, after the results are out, you'll be fine.

Now, its been one week after my results were released. And I'm still not sleeping well @.@ I look like a panda. Sigh.

So yes, I wish for coma like peace where I can sleep and get rid of my panda eyes and feel refreshed when I get up in the morning. And note, I said coma LIKE peace. Means I don't wanna be in a coma. I just want to sleep. I want the greek version of coma, deep sleep...

2011-06-24T20:07:00.000-07:00

Since the start, they've said that I'm not smart enough and that I wouldn't get anywhere in my studies. Many people thought that I wouldn't succeed. But I proved them wrong by getting my degree. Now, people think that I don't have the drive to succeed in life which isn't really true. I do WANT to succeed in life. I'm just not really sure about how I'm going to do it. They like comparing me to my dad. My dad is great. Just because I'm not like him doesn't mean that I don't have the drive or that I don't want to succeed. Maybe I'll be great too. In my own way at my own pace. It hurts all the more because the people who say it are relatives and other acquaintances who don't really talk to me much.

To me, being great is a matter of the definition of "great". Someone who is a billionaire can be called great. Even a millionaire can be called great. But what if I told you that a beggar is also great? You would probably think that I've gone nuts. Society's conventions have shaped our thoughts around a way of thinking that only the cream of the crop is great and that everyone else just isn't trying hard enough.

But I have my reasons for saying that a beggar is great. Due to the circumstances that he is in, I consider it great that he/she manages to stay alive. Not everyone can get a good job, with good pay. The beggar probably can't. And so, based on that, I would say that the beggar is great. Great at staying alive and finding ways to live. Great at surviving.

I'm not saying that I want to be a beggar. Don't get me wrong. I'm just trying to prove a point that just because I don't want to do what my dad does, doesn't make me a person who is not driven for success. I'll succeed, just in a different way.

Job Applications!!

2011-06-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

Who wants to hire me???!! hahahaha...

I sent out my application to a few companies *crosses her fingers, toes and eyes* I hope they reply me!!! lol..

Persons are Gifts

2011-06-15T05:11:00.000-07:00

Persons are gifts which the Father sent me wrapped.
Some are wrapped very beautifully;
They are attractive when I first see them.
Some come in very ordinary wrapping paper.
Others have been mishandled in the mail.
Once in awhile, there is a special delivery.
Some persons are gifts which come very loosely wrapped;
Others very tightly.
But the wrapping is NOT the gift.
Sometimes the gift is very easy to open up,
While at times I need others to help.
Is it because they are afraid?
Does it hurt?
Maybe they've been opened up before.....and thrown away.
Could it be that this gift is not for me?
I am a person. And therefore I am a gift too.
A gift to myself first of all...the Father gave myself to me.
Have I ever looked at myself inside the wrappings?
Am I afraid too?
Perhaps I've never accepted the gift that I am?
Could it be that there is something else inside the wrapping than what I think?
Maybe I've seen the wonderful gift that I am.
Could the Father's gift be anything but beautiful?
I love the gifts which those who love me give to me.
Why not this gift from the Father?
Every meeting of persons is an exchange of gifts.
But the gift without the giver is not a gift.
It is devoid of a relationship to a giver.
Friendship is a relationship of persons who see themselves as they are.
Gifts of the Father to each other for others.
A friend is not a gift to me only, but to others through me.
Persons are gifts.

-Fr George Ninetemann, OP-

2011-05-22T01:13:00.000-07:00

It's the end of my life in University. Exams ended on Friday and I'm not sure that I'm happy. Everyone is cheering and whooping in joy that it's all over. But me? I felt nothing. In fact I actually felt kind of useless cause I'm not sure what I'm going to do. So many things to worry about like:

What am I going to do next?

What are my plans?

Will I be able to get a job?

Do I really want to be an auditor and do the normal thing that all accounting and finance students do?

Am I going to fail anything? (which i unfortunately think is pretty possible..sigh)

No one seems to get it. To them, I'm boring cause I'm not celebrating. Honestly, I want to celebrate too. But I can't help worrying.

Plus, thinking about it, it's pretty sad that I'm not going to go to class and see my coursemates anymore. And worry and laugh with them. Have fun with them. I'm taking a break from everything for awhile because I need a break. But my dad doesn't seem to get that. He's in such a hurry for me to get a job or join his business. In fact, he already told me he's bringing me along with him for a training in the office on wednesday :(

But I think taking a few days or maybe a month off for me to figure things out is a good idea cause at the moment, I seriously don't feel like doing anything. And I'm not even sure about what I want to do! And the interviewers will definitely be able to see that.

2011-01-22T05:25:00.000-08:00

Two down, two more to go.

It seriously doesn't feel like CNY is in a weeks time :(

I haven't even gone shopping yet!

Sigh..

Assignments! Assignments!

How come everytime CNY is around the corner my assignments are due??!!

Killjoy!!

2011-01-04T01:10:00.000-08:00

Happy part : I'm done with one assignment! :)
Sad part : 3 more assignments to go :(

at least i'm done with one right? hahahah

31st December 2010

2010-12-31T01:08:00.000-08:00

Twenty-ten. It's going to end.

It's going to be over in roughly 6 hours and 39 minutes. Most people would be writing their new year resolutions at this time. Me? I'm not sure whether I should. I know that even if I write it, I might not fulfil it. So what's the point? I might just make them to myself :)

Twenty-ten's been fun while it lasted, but in a way I'm glad that twenty-eleven is on the way. To sum this year up, I had fun (especially in perhentian), I've cried (failed audit), I've felt relieved (passed referal), I've felt frustratedand depressed (doing assignments), I've procrastinated (assignments, tutorials, study), I've been bored (sometime during the mid of the year), I've travelled (China), I've celebrated (CNY, Christmas, New Year..etc), I've made new friends (in KPMG and Uni), regained some old friends and lost some friends ( i shall not say where), I've been extremely happy at various time throughout the year. Overall, I'd say that my year has covered most everything, and for that I'm thankful. It hasn't all been happy, but it hasn't been all sad either. It's been balanced and that's a good thing :)

I've been happy with twenty-ten, but I'm looking forward to an even better twenty-eleven. It's a new start :) in 6 hours and 24 minutes! Happy New Year in Advance! :)

But twenty-elevens here, we'll start anew ^^

What they didn't say...

2010-12-12T06:39:00.000-08:00

They say a picture can express a thousand words..

What they didn't say was that it was dependent on many things like being in the right place at the right time with the right equipment and the right people..

My parents say that I can do whatever I want to do...

What they didn't say was that I could do what I wanted to do ONLY IF they approved of it...

My lecturers say that the assignments are a walk in the park..

What they didn't say was that the walk in the park could be marred by the wrong weather, the wrong attire, a dog chasing you, a fight, etc...

Why do so many people say things and then have a hidden meaning behind it???!! O.O"

2010-11-16T04:51:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've been climbing a mountain. It's practically like the mountain is higher and tougher than any on earth. No matter how I put my mind to it, I'll never reach the top. No matter how I keep climbing, it's an impossible journey. There are times when I think I've reached the peak and set up camp. I start to rejoice around the campfire, then morning comes and I suddenly realise that it's just one of the peaks. And the journey starts all over again.

Ashley's Concert :)

2010-11-15T04:56:00.001-08:00

My sister had her concert over two nights :) And it was great! It's really amazing that little kids can put together a concert in a little over a month to raise money for their school..and actually do it so well.. Of course they had their teachers arranging most of the stuff. But they're only 7-12 year olds and yet they perform infront of hundreds of people fearlessly!!

I was of course grumbling cause my sister joined so many things and i had to help my mum carry her costumes and run in and out of the hall for her to change and everything.. hehe.. but in the end I'm still glad that she had fun. Plus, she looked great as a princess...hahaha...her wish come true XD

My sister and her balloon...some ti-zhi-gui thing..lol..I have no idea what it was..but yeah...something about the moon and stuff XD

My sister and her Wu Do friends :) she just passed and got her green belt!

And lastly, my sister and Tai Jia Yi :) My sis is of course the princess that she always wanted to be...but they both look sooooo cute!! hahaha

2010-10-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

What's so great about the internet? It brought communication to greater heights and started something called globalisation. Sharing and finding information is at the tip of your fingers and talking to someone who is on the opposite side of the world now costs pratically nothing except the fee you pay for your broadband service and the cost of your hardware (which will last you for a few years once you get it). You don't have to go to a place or ask someone to send you a post card to find out what the place looks like, just google it! Amazing right? And then you would ask.... "If you just told us all that, then why did you ask the question in the first place??!!"

Firstly, yes, i do know what's so great about the internet.... The fact is I am now going to COMPLAIN about it... Due to the fact that information is at the tip of our fingers, we now have to do more RESEARCH for our assignments =.=" and you can't just say, "I couldn't find any information on it". Why? Cause your lecturers would then say, "Google it! Use the UWE e-library, look at the e-journals!"

Secondly, due to the internet being so fabulous, I can't do my work without getting distracted by random stuff that i suddenly feel the urge to read!! hehe...ok, i'll admit that this is partially my fault. But still! If the internet didn't exist, then I wouldn't get distracted with it!

Next, computer's contribute to global warming! And without the internet, we wouldn't switch the computer's on for so many hours a day!! Thus global warming would be reduced!! And we wouldn't have to suffer in this sweltering heat and stupid weather fluctuations!! =.="

Plus, if the internet didn't exist, I wouldn't have to print out my notes at RM0.10 per piece every week. Cause we'd be given the notes in the lecture and it'd be included in my fees.... Also, lecturers and tutors can't say, I've posted it on BB7! You didn't print it out.. When I checked whether it was on BB7 and somehow i didn't see it there! =.="

Sigh...okie...I'm done complaining :) I must say that the benefits of the internet outweigh the bad parts of it...And i was just complaining cause I'm so sick of looking for information for my assignments ^^ Despite me ranting and complaining about it I actually love having and using the internet..hahaha..

Stupid stupid stupid =.="

2010-10-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

I had a seriously bad start to my first week back in uni!! On monday, i had class at 8am...then a 6 hour break and class at 4pm... I got up late and had to rush to get to lecture.. and because i was rushing, i forgot to bring my phone to uni =.=" I felt so lost without it!! Cannot call, cannot sms...lol..cannot ask people where they are!! Gosh! Terrible..Not just that, I was having a flu!! On the first day of uni!

Then we went to sunway pyramid for a movie...And ended up going back to class late.. We were about half an hour late.. and i was my usual panicky self la.. I hate being late.. (part of the reason why the time on my phone is set 20 minutes fast XD) Anyway, as if being half an hour late wasn't bad enough, Ms Vinitha was conducting the lecture!! O.O" When i walked in and saw her... I was thinking, "Shit! Wth is Ms.Vinitha doing here??!!" May and i just sat down at the back and she asked us, "Are you here for financial management?" At first I thought she was going to kick us out of the lecture.. But luckily she just asked us to fill up the first row.. But damn malu lo!!

As if this wasn't bad enough, I went home and found out that my laptp couldn't start =.=" And IT'S NEW!! I tried restarting it 7 times...and nothing worked.. So the next day, i brought it back to sony.. And they managed to get it fixed in 2 hours.. you would say not too bad, they got it done quickly...

The downside? Everything in my laptop is gone!!! Pictures, songs, documents, past assignments, everything!! Even my windows and anti-virus is gone!!! Sigh... The worst part is, they cannot give me a reason as to why it happened... And when i asked them whether it would happen again, they said "Dunno" and then they adviced me to save my whole sony vaio system in 4 dvd's so that if it happens again I can reinstall it... What do they think I am??! The main reason why I got a new laptop is cause I was scared my old and ancient one would crash...looks like the old one is more reliable... Not just that, I have so many assignments, this means everytime I update my assignment I've got to resave everything? I asked them that and they said yes =.=" as if it was the most logical thing to do... I didn't get a laptop that costs 5k to worry that it's going to crash and my assignments are going to go missing!! Stupid stupid stupid!! But nothing I can do about it now la... ish... annoying!!

The rest of the week was just so so la... On friday we had to go to KLCC for a briefing cause its compulsory that we spend 4 days there in november helping out with the World Congress Of Accountants (WCOA).. I didn't get anything from the briefing and I felt that it was a total waste of time...

I seriously hope the second week will be better... If the first week represents how the rest of the 3rd year is going to be for me, I think i'll just drop dead...

2010-10-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

I sincerely apologise to everyone and anyone that I have annoyed during my FACE IT phase ^^ hahaha...Pls don't jump out of any building or moving vehicle :)

Pretty clouds and a beautiful sky :)

2010-10-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

Puffy white clouds against a beautiful blue background.. I was just watching the clouds go by that day.. Before you say that I have nothing better to do, I was in the car on the way back from Malacca.. hahaha...so I really had nothing to do except sleep, or watch things go by XD

Anyway, The clouds were so nice and fluffy.. And they kept changing shapes!! :) There wasn't any particular shape that I saw but it was calming and soothing. I know, I know, What's the big deal right? Clouds are always there, and so is the sky. But I haven't actually looked at the sky in a long long time. Just haven't had the time. Being in the office the whole day with no windows. Walking for lunch is all indoors. Going to clients place also no time to look at the sky cause we're in a hurry!

Probably you would say that not having time is an excuse. Which is true. It IS an excuse because if I really wanted to do something, I would find the time to do it. But having so many things to do, makes cloud watching seem like a waste of time. Which, if you ask most people including me, I'd say that that's right. lol.. But still, it was beautiful since I had the time to look at it :)

And while looking at them go by, I didn't think about anything, or worry about anything. It was just me wondering about the clouds and admiring them. Totally stress free!! ^^

Stupid Selfish People!! =.="

2010-09-26T03:55:00.000-07:00

You know, I sometimes wonder about Malaysians. Asians are known to be courteous people. But if you see some of the people who take public transport, you would seriously reconsider that. Just the other day, I was taking the train from Wangsa Maju back to Tmn Paramount. Of course I got a seat as Wangsa Maju is almost the last station. When we reached KLCC, and old uncle got on the train. The train wasn't packed but there were no more seats left. I must admit that I thought twice about getting up cause I was super exhausted. But I still got up because that's something that I know I should do. There was a girl sitting beside me, and her boyfriend was standing up. When I got up to let the uncle sit down, she took my sit and her boyfriend sat in her seat! I was like, what the hell are these people doing?? I might as well have continued sitting down instead of getting up if I had known that was going to happen. The amazing thing was that they had seen me calling the uncle and the uncle was already moving towards the seat. So i stood right opposite them and stared at them. They just sat there pointing at the uncle and laughing!!! I should have scolded them, but i'm me and I don't scold strangers. So i just stared at them the whole journey. And the uncle was standing opposite me and he said, "Thanks, but it's ok. I can stand." =.=" I'm wondering what the hell that couple was thinking!! And that's not the only time that it has happened. I just went down to KLCC this friday and I gave my seat up for a lady who was pregnant and another young guy took the seat!! What's happening????!!! In school you learn moral and civic...and yet when you're supposed to apply it, you decide that your comfort is more important than someone who needs the seat more!! Idiots! =.="

Mario Immortality O.O"

2010-09-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

I've been playing mario starcatcher. There are 20 levels and i always make it to level 19 but never past level 19! lol..when you reach level 19, due to some glitch in the game, you become "immortal"! You would say great! No matter how many times i make the mario die, mario's life doesnt diminish and i'm still alive! ^^

Here's the sad part. I'm so tired of seeing mario dying!!! If it could just die and finish the lives collected then I can just get out of the game and start again! This one! You step into the mario eating flower, die and start again. You hit the flying puffball, die and start again. You jump on the spiky orange turtle like thing, you die and start again. You hit the bomb, you die and start again. You hit the air flying fish, you die and start again!! O.O No matter what you do, the game doesn't end!!

I know it's a good thing la...but seriously, when you've died enough times to collect enough points to gain an extra 4 lives (1 live = 100 gold coins, and each time i die i have only collected about 6 or 7), you sometimes wish that your mario wasn't so "immortal"! hahaha..

2010-09-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favour fire

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To know that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice

-Robert Frost-

YEO-Less!!

2010-09-08T06:08:00.000-07:00

On Monday, the office is officially yeo-less :( sobs...everyone is leaving! First i was ling yok-less...then zam-less.... Tomorrow is yeo's last day...then i'll be yeo-less! Then May May is leaving, so i'll have one less may...Wei Tian also leaving...which makes group 5 Wei Tian-less :( sniffs....now i wish i had decided to go to UK instead of staying here! But too late to change my mind edi...sigh

Last night was the fabulous 4's farewell dinner for Yeo at Chillies!! :) The Fabulous Four and the guy who rarely eats lunch a.k.a the water jedi! It was soooooo fun!! Especially since Yoki came back to join us! hahaha...Soraya was high on goodness knows what...so super hyper mann!! Even after i had 2 glassess of coke, still cannot match her hyperness XD

We were actually counting the number of seconds she could possibly sit quietly and not say a word..and the record was 10 seconds! hahaha...SECONDS! not even one minute...lol.. But we had loads and loads of fun.. Made lots of noise, took lots of pictures and created many memories that we can look back on!

Good Luck Yeo! :) Thanks for putting up with your noisy, always laughing and at times annoying neighbour in office ^^ but admit it! you're gonna miss us girls! hahaha...have fun and don't forget to invite Soraya and I to your wedding k? hahaha...you know what we wanna see la!

When Horoscopes = HorrorScopes

2010-09-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

The other day, i was checking out horoscopes for the day and i was reading Soraya's one and Yeo's one to them also :) Then Soraya asked me to read mine to her.

It was the daily horoscope from Yahoo..So i read it and even though it was the daily horoscope, it was talking about love! hahaha...and it asked me to expand my horizons and i may meet the love of my life..etc etc... So Yeo started laughing and pointed to the back of the office where CWG sits XD he was saying expand ur horizons there! lol...so, i said no way la...if i ever expand my horizons it'll be the other side of the office! Not the back! lol...i swept my arms in a wide circle to make my point of which part of the office! lol...and then they started laughing like mad!! I was wondering why..lol..so i turned around, and *jeng jeng jeng*, one of the seniors was walking towards our area from the area of the office that i just swept my arms towards! hahaha! So i started laughing also la...

Then next, i read my horoscope from MSN. And it said, "Love and Romance is coming your way!" hahaha...i was just about to tell Soraya and Yeo that it would be so funny if CWG came towards our area when all 3 of us froze. lol! There were footsteps coming from the back of the office!! hahaha...the suspense of it all...i was praying, "no, no, no, no, no! No such coincidence!" when CWG appeared..hahaha...Soraya started laughing like mad, Yeo laughed until he cried!! I was also laughing like mad la...but trying not to laugh so much...cause its not nice la..later people think we're laughing at him..hahaha! But seriously! Of all people to walk to the front, it had to be CWG....

Then next, i checked the tarot cards, and it said, "Your love is around the corner." hahaha...and Yeo was like CWG is around the corner! =.=" Th horror of it all!

So i told both of them la, i would rather just take the Yahoo horoscope and expand my horizons, don't want the other two anymore..lol..and i swept my arms around to be met by another burst of laughter! lol...so i turned around to see another unknown person walking towards our area...lol...

I suppose on the bright side of things, this means i'm totally straight la since everyone who walked towards our area, or happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time was a guy :)

Nerdy Sunday!

2010-09-06T02:02:00.001-07:00

I went to book Xcess on sunday :) The one in Amcorp...I know i'm not supposed to buy anymore books but this is different! hahaha...you may ask why? My parents were there, which means that they know i'm buying those books plus they are paying for it XD and it's cheap..hahaha...

Anyway, after about 10 minutes, I had 7 different books in my hands already...but when i showed them to my mum, it got cut down to 4 :( sniffs...but i'm still happy! hahaha...4 new books will last me the whole week!

AND!!!!!

The best part is.... *drum rolllllllllllll*

I found HOVER CAR RACER!! The author is an Australian, but i couldnt find his book anywhere. Not even my friend who tried to look for it for me in Aussie could find it over there! But its an awesome book ^^ And its finally MINE!! hahaha...i was so happy to see it there...so unexpected...

Saturday :)

2010-09-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

You know, whenever something is planned, it gets cancelled about 90% of the time... I was supposed to go out with the Exxon girls in the evening. But at around 10 something in the morning, Jack called and said that MAY is free! :) lol...u have no idea how hard it is to get that girl out when she's free! hahaha...so we decided to go to tropicana city mall! hahaha..and then we called Kevin along too :) Met him on the slope going towards SS2 and because he was all alone in the car, i decided to teman him XD

I got out of the other car, ran to his car and masuk....and then that fella was so mean to me! lol..i risked my life and he said, "Imagine if a motorbike came, my car door would be gone, you never mind la." hahaha...Freaking mean lo!!

Then turns out there were no more tickets at tropicana city mall, so we went to Bon Bon Cafe at Atria for tea :) Unfortunately, Kevin went and asked the owner of the store if the cakes were fresh O.O what a question to ask??!! I was so malu mann!! lol...and after that when Jack went and asked about the cake, the lady was like "you can order the strawberry chocolate, if you think its FRESH." lol...I felt like melting into the floor edi...and then kok yi was coming in half an hour and he knows the owner...in the first place he was the one who brought me there...lol..i felt so bad....

After tea, we left for Jacks place to play monopoly!! :) In the end, i went bankrupt and kevin had the most money...hahaha...then they didnt know where they were eating dinner while i had to meet up with Am, Jen and Ellie...so they followed me to Curve! ^^ We reached there at about 6 something and then went to makan at Itallianies...the food wasn't great..somehow it all tasted bland...and the seafood wasn't fresh O.O

After that we left Am, Jen and Ellie and went back to my place to play cards...hahaha! I learnt how to play poker! :) And we used monopoly money..hahaha...When we finally finished at 12 midnight, Jack was bankrupt, I had 800,000++, Kevin had 1 million ++ and May had 2 million ++! hahaha...it was fun fun fun though...too bad May's leaving for UK this friday...sobs..my partner in crime in Uni is leaving...

2010-08-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

People walk into your life all the time. Some stay, Some leave. What makes those that stay stay? And what makes those who leave leave? Is it the things you say and do? The way you act? Or is it totally up to fate? What happens when those that you want to stay leave? And those that you want to leave stay? Can we control who comes into our lives in the first place? Do things happen because you will them to? Or is it by coincidence? If it is by coincidence, is it fate? does coincidence = fate? What is fate? If it is fate does it mean we cannot control it? If we don't control it then who does?

Confused yet? :) I know I am...

2010-08-26T08:33:00.001-07:00

I'm going down to Johor and Malacca for the long weekend...sniffs..sobs...no internet..lol..but it's just for 5 days and anyway, i have my PHONE :) hahaha...i also have 4 new books to keep me company...I actually feel kind of guilty...

The other day, i went to borders and bought two books to read :) The new Artemis Fowl book is out! I know it's kiddie, but its really nice!! That means my collection is once again complete! hahaha...the new Andy McDermott book caught my eye..The Cult of Osiris is out!! hahaha..and i bought that too..means another complete collection...

Then just two days ago, i went to MPH in one utama and Trudi Canavan had a new book out! So i bought it...knowing that because i bought this book i would have to buy the other three before it...

And TODAY, after the buka puasa thing, i was alone in Curve cause Soraya, Yeo, Zam, Kim, and Yoki went home while i was still waiting for my mum to come and get me... Since it was me and only me, i decided to pay Borders a visit...and... *jeng jeng jeng* I saw the other 3 Trudi Canavan book thats i wanted, the magicians guild, the novice and the high magician! All on 50% is i buy another book!! lol...and my mum called and said she just arrived and i don't know what got into me, I bought all 3!!! O.O"

sniffs....please don't leave me near a book store alone again...i tend to buy all sorts of stationary and books when i'm alone...the books part is still not too bad...but the stationary??! lol...i was cleaning up my room this weekend and gosh! the amount of stuff i have is amazing! I ended up with two bags of rubbish! And i think i can open up a stationery shop! I now have 2 small boxes, 2 medium sized boxes and 3 drawers full of art stuff and stationary O.O I need to start using the stuff...I just feel bad for using them cause then they won'e be new anymore...and like the notepads and all, if i use them and my handwriting is bad, then they won't look good anymore...hahaha! I know! I do stuff that other people wouldn't do :) But i'm me! hahaha..and the weird stuff i do just make me different...and different = special....i hope? hahaha

The Su Yen Chronicles XD

2010-08-26T08:08:00.001-07:00

I haven't updated my blog for ages cause i just haven't had the time..so, all the stuff is going to come out all at once now ^^ Get ready for the Su Yen Chronicles!! hahaha

Anyway, I want CANDY!! :) Audit exam is over over over!! Saw Jin, you owe me a lolli! ^^

Office is the usual...The other day, i made a cheese cake and brought it to work ^^ part of it was for foong sze as her birthday present and the rest of it was for the other interns and whoever came along and wanted a piece...I seriously didn't expect the cake to finish so fast! I brought it and cut afew slices for the people around me, then i told foong sze to come and collect it..so she came and collected for the VT's in the tax department...lol..then suddenly, the VT in audit department asked me if i brought cheese cake! lol...like wow! news spreads fast mannn! XD anyway, my cheese cake was gone by the time i went back home..hahaha..but i'm glad they liked it :) makes me feel so accomplished..hahaha..syok sendiri only...

Then there was this one day when i kept falling down in the pantry.. The floor was really slippery cause some wate had been spilled. And the mat was put on the water, so i couldn't see that it was wet. I walked straight and fell on my butt!! O.O" Seriously pain lo...and you would think that i'd learn my lesson and not fall again right? Unfortunately, i kept forgetting the floor was wet, so the next two times i went to get water, i ended up falling on my butt again! 3 times in a day! lol...even for me, thats still an amazing feat XD

Mornings in office are pretty quiet..but afternoons are full of laughter :) hahaha...from laughing about something to laughing about laughing.. Yeo is always giving Soraya and I this 'Yeo Look'...lol.. And that's part of the reason we laugh also la...but i suppose he's pretty used to it by now :) It's going to be lonely when all the others leave :( It was Yoki and Zam's last day today...Abit sad...But it won't be the last time i see her since she's in KL anyways and we're going to SKY TREX!! weeeeeeee! :) and there's always Facebook!! hahaha

Before i left office, i said by to my chocolates and told them to have a nice weekend...my reasoning is that i won't see them till next wednesday and so they're gonna have a good weekend cause no one is going to eat them..hahaha...Yeo was laughing at me like mad...and i started laughing also and ended up falling on my chair due to excessive laughter XD He insists that i'm half nuts...but Yoki does the same for the chocolates too!! :) So i suppose i'm not the only weird one around :)

It was also the buka puasa dinner thing at the apartment in the curve... The food was ok ok la..but the desserts were nice :) We brought the cake with us and before kak az left the office she reminded us to take it from the fridge...Good thing i didn't trip or anything or else everyone would be having smashed cake instead of white chocolate and blueberry cake =/

Tonight really made me miss the ExxonMobil people...like seriously miss them...I miss the last time i had the buka puasa dinner with them..It was so fun! And we were moving all around..changing seats..talking crap..nothing serious going on at all! Random pics being snapped, people chasing others around to get them to delete them...hahaha..Which reminds me, i have to go and visit them before my break is over :) Encik Azmi called me the other day and asked if i wanted a job in the lubricants department..hahaha..he still doesn't remember that i'm still studying...but if he offers me a job after i graduate..hehe..fun fun fun! But i suppose for an accounting and finance student i should be looking for a job that has to do with my course of study? O.o

Hiking at Bukit Tabur :)

2010-08-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

I went to Tabur or otherwise known as klang gates with Jack, Pooi Guan, May May and David the other day :) They came and picked me up at around 7.10 am? But by the time we reached tabur, it was around 8 am. We thought we were early until we saw some other people coming down. Meaning they had started way earlier and finished already! hahaha...The view was really really nice!! I have LOADS OF PICTURES :) but their in the other computer..so i'll upload them next wednesday! Beautiful view and the air was so nice and cool! Refreshing!

I'm really scared of heights. So Tabur was quite a challenge for me. There was lots of rock climbing to do...With some parts at practically 90 degrees..where you either have to climb up or down XD And it didn't help that there was this lady telling us that two people had died there before cause they fell..and knowing me, Miss Clumsy, I might fall too...lol..But, I MADE IT!! hahaha...and i'm really glad that i went because i had lots of fun!

We took 4 hours to go up to the fifth peak and come down...Something which some of my other friends say only takes them 1 and a half hours XD But hey! they're guys and they don't bring girls who are scared of heights with them when they go at that speed...lol..

Anyway, after we got down at about 12, we were super exhausted and HUNGRY! :) So we were trying to decide where to eat when May May said that she wasnted to go to selayang for the famous loh mee...so off we went...and........... *drum beat* when we finally found the shop..May May told us that she doesn't eat loh mee =.=" lol...zha dou....like seriously zha dou..hahaha.. We were asking her why she suggested eating there if she doesnt eat it anyway...and she just said, "Oh, I heard they're famous for it, so you all eat la...i'll have my salted fish fried rice" XD

But the loh mee was really nice la :) After that it was the lllllloooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnngggggggggg trip home. And i mean it when i say long..lol..The jam was amazing!! Everywhere we went was jammed up! But we all reached home safely la ^^

2010-08-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

Su Yen is dreaming about the Spicy Chicken McDeluxe! It's burger day!! :( but no burgers today...sigh...but there will be next week ^^

2010-07-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm a total failure at planning birthdays mann!! hahaha..it was Kevin's birthday was on thursday..so i asked him, who do you want me to call? he said, just call those in kpmg la..the others might be too far later they can't find transport back..so i sms-ed windy, foong sze, tsuey kuan, jack and hui ting ^^ hui ting and foong sze said they couldn't make it..then windy and tsuey kuan didnt reply me..and jack didnt know if he could make it :( so just left me and kevin..hahaha..epic failure!! Anyway, we ended up eating at some place opposite yvonne's shop..Then when we finished eating, jack dropped by so 3 of us went to starbucks coz the birthday boy wanted to go there..hahaha..then we left at around 9 coz he had a 'date' with someone..lol

before i left i wanted to pop by and see yvonne and kc at work ^^ but then they looked so busy..so next time la XD

Then friday, i went to work with the flu!! Yeo saw me looking half dead and he was like..u look like you're dying...lol..then Alvin came by with some work for me and he was said the same thing..so i said, yeah, going to die soon..lol..and you know what he said??!! XD he said, "Can! but don't die until september!" hahaha...seriously mean lo...september the project over then he won't need my help anymore then can die...lol

One month down! ^^ 2 and half more to go!

2010-07-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be the 1 month anniversary of me starting my internship! hahaha...I don't know why i sounded so happy when i said it this afternoon. Christina and Alvin were like, "u're excited?" lol..as if it's so unbelievable. But then again, there isn't much in office to get me excited so i've got to fins some stuff to be happy about. lol.

It's just been one month, and already i've embarassed myself more than i have in the past half a year..lol..the first time i went into the toilet, i didn't see that the floor outside was slightly raised..so i just walked straight and fell down..lol..like almost flat on my face kind of fell down XD luckily no one was around to see it.

Then just afew days ago, i went into the toilet cubicle, and you know they have those spray things? lol..anyway, me being the clumsy person i am, i had to accidently hit the switch. And the water came on!! lol..i screamed and the person in the other cubicle screamed...hahaha...coz the water pancut so high that it went over! lol..and i was wondering why it suddenly started raining in the toilet! XD i didn't dare to leave the toilet cubicle until the other person left...

And then, Boon and Yeo were printing out some stuff...and it was all nice and colourful. Then i was eating my chips..so i went to throw the empty packet away. When i came back, Boon asked me, "what do you think?". Unfortunately, i heard, "what are you eating?" lol..so i said, "chips". And he gave me this clueless look and asked me, "what?". I was like, "i was eating chips, you know, my chips? Chipster?" hahaha...and he looked at me like i was some kind of idiot..so i asked him what did he ask me. so he repeated his question. lol. And Soraya, Dion and Yeo were all laughing at me! lol..like totally malu! People ask me about the report and i tell them about my chips! XD

So yeah, all in all, i would say that my first month was quiet in the beginning but hilarious and memalukan at some parts towards the end..lol..

2010-07-11T04:14:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Malacca :) I have a new niece and her name is Audrey Koh Hui En..hahaha
She is sooooooo cute!! Just three weeks old..so tiny...but she fits in my arms perfectly! lol..the right lenght :) And she still has that baby smell..unfortunately she refused to get up even when carried and put back down on the sofa so many times..lol..i know, i'm mean..wouldn't let her sleep peacefully. But, i just wanted to see her eyes XD

Anyway, on friday, i went to eat sakae sushi AGAIN! hahaha..i just had it the night before..but i felt like eating it again..so i went again..i must say i definitely ate way more than i did the night before and way faster too..lol..i was hungry..

Recently, i've been feeling kind of dead. Like, i'm going through the motions of living my life but not really living it at all. It's kind of like viewing things from a third party point of view. And also sort of like belated impacts. As in, things happen and i react, and i only think about how i reacted after i've done it and there's no way for me to turn back. It really sucks, cause it makes me think about what i could have done if i had thought it through earlier. Then that same thought keeps me up half the night and i go to work the next day looking like some kind of zombie O.O"

I'm still trying to decide on whether or not to quit my internship....It's a tough decision..On one hand, its going to leave a very bad impression if i quit now and it won't be considered an internship cause it would be less than 2 months...however, i'm not sure if i can pass audit while working at the same time..but then again...i'm not really sure if i can pass audit at all! But i HAVE to...I don't have a choice..

In a way, failing audit has given me a new perspective? I suppose? It's something like a wake up call i suppose. It's something that i have to work for. Before this, everything came easily. I might worry like mad about an exam, but still study last minute and pass it just fine. But this subject is like nothing i've ever encountered..hahaha..i studied like mad for it and i still failed..

Also, failing audit has made me think twice about what i'm studying. Perhaps i really made the wrong choice and should not have taken accounting and finance? I mean, i knew before that i didn't like it. But i could do it. Now, i'm not so sure. Doing accounting and finance to please my parents just doesn't seem as easy to do as it was before.

9 July 2010 :)

2010-07-09T01:58:00.000-07:00

I can blog!! hahaha..ok..

I seriously don't know what was wrong with me yesterday. I was so bored and emo and depressed. I suppose it was because i went back to Taylor's for the Audit briefing. It was seriously depressing for me. I saw Mr Mahathir and he was like, " Su Yen....why did you fail? I didn't expect you to fail." I mean of course i was happy that he didnt expect me to fail. But i felt really upset that i DID fail it. Which means that referals await me :( Then he called me after that to talk about what i think i did wrong. It was a good talk la. He said that it doesn't matter if you fail it once. You just have to make sure that you do better the next time. and he said the same thing that Mr.Kumar told me. they both told me to think about quitting my internship as passing my exams should be my priority for now. I admit that i'm sorely tempted to do that. But i just can't. I already signed the contract. Perhaps i'll take a weeks leave or something instead.

And then i rushed back to One Utama for dinner with Yvonne and some other people. To tell you the truth, I didn't enjoy my dinner. Yvonne if you read this, don't get angry. I don't know what was wrong with me. I didn't really feel like talking or joking around or having fun. Or maybe it was just that i hadn't seen them for ages. It was amazingly weird for me to be like that! I mean, this is ME we're talking about! lol..I'm the first to start talking usually..and making noise and jumping around..but i just had TONS of things on my mind.....I'm definitely going to have to snap out of this soon...If not i'm going to die of being quiet..hahaha

Anyway, things at work have been much better :) I changed sitting places ^^ hahaha..so now i have three very nice people sitting around me whom i can talk to and kacau them and be kacau-ed by them..lol

gtg now...not supposed to blog at this time..hahaha XD will continue soon!

2010-06-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

I got some really bad news about my results. It's something that i expected. But still, when it happened, i was really upset about it :( I failed audit. God knows i hate that subject. Somehow i just don't get it. I really studied extra hard for it but looks like that didn't help much. I'm kind of wondering how i'm going to pass it in August. It's a must. I have to pass it!

Sigh...I didn't want to cry in office. But when my dad picked me up, i felt so bad that i started crying. He was pretty pissed. That was expected la. I mean, it IS my fault that i failed. Now i've just got to study really really hard for the referral.

I was just hoping to pass. And i couldn't even achieve that. How am i going to pass next year. I was actually thinking of whether to change courses. But then it would be a total waste cause i'm already 2/3 parts done with my course.

I need help :(

We went out for Hua Min's birthday that night. And on the way bak, Jack was saying that he was sleepy. So Hua Min was telling me to keep talking to him so that he doesn't fall asleep and get into an accident. But Jack and I were saying, get into and accident then we wouldn't have to sit for referrals anymore! lol..not that we really wanted that to happen. But that was just how bad we were feeling about it...sigh

And someone read my blog :) hahaha..when are you gonna start your blog????

Taiping -- Sungai Petani -- Penang

2010-06-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

Since it was the school holidays, my parents brought my sisterand I to taiping, SP and Penang..

I got back from perhentian on sunday and went to taiping on Monday! lol..tiring!! Taiping was really nice. we stayed at Flemington. It was a nice little hotel and our room was facing the lake gardens!! :) The view was great! The room was not scary..hahaha! We spent 3 days and 2 nights there. There wasn't much to do. But i took the fliers from Maxwell Hill / Bukit Larut! :) Its 13km's to the top and i really want to hike up! Now i just have to look for people to hike with me ^^ Anyone up for it??

Then we went to SP. I like SP :) Its nice and peaceful. We stayed at my grandaunty's house :) Another 3 days and 2 nights! Just relaxing :)

Then we went to Penang! Most of our time there was spent eating!! hahaha..as usual!

Along the way, i realised that i like someone :) That person makes me feel happy ^^ It's quite unexpected and at the wrong time :( but i suppose if anything will happen it will and if it doesn't it doesn't :) lol..

Perhentian :)

2010-06-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

2nd June - 6th June 2010! Perhentian was awesome! :)

13 of us left for perhentian right after our tax exam. Our exam finished at 7pm and we were on the bus by 9.30 pm :) Somehow, I just can't sleep on the bus. Everyone was sleeping except May and I. We were wide awake and discussing zodiacs in the middle of the night! hahaha! First we talked about the 12 animals and then we moved on to the english zodiacs XD lol..We made quiet alot of noise and i think we woke some of the others up. Sorry! ^^

After the toilet stop, everyone...and i mean EVERYONE including May fell asleep..lol.. The only person left awake? Me! lol..but Wei Tian lent me his IPod. So i was listening to songs and playing games :) We reached the Kuala Besut Jetty at around 5.30 am. And the earliest speed boat over was at 8.30 am. So we sat down at a coffee shop and played cards :)

The speed boat ride was great! Much better than sitting in a bus! lol..Then we checked into Awarna Resort. The rooms were bigger than i expected. It was actually supposed to be 4 girls in each room and the 5 guys in one room. But it ended up with 5 girls in one room and 3 in the other. lol. After lunch we went snorkelling! The sharks were huge!! At first the guide, Dii, told us that the sharks were vegetarian cause I asked if they would bite! lol..but turns out they weren't. As i was getting into the water, i heard the other guide telling Jack that he was catching a fish to attractthe shark!! lol..but they didn't attack us la..I suppose if you don't provoke them nothing will happen :)

That night, after dinner, we waited up until 11pm then went downstairs to meet Dii. He wanted to show us blue sand. But we couldn't find any because the tide wasn't low enough and there was still lots of light on everywhere! So we actually waited up until about 1 am for nothing :( While waiting he tried to tell us ghost stories!! I am a scaredy cat..so i hate ghoststories. Especially past midnight when there's barely anyone around and the place is soooooo dark and quite!! I shut my ears but still, i heard enough to scare me.. When we went back to the room, I was really scared. Maywas scared as well. But Foong Sze was acting as if nothing had happened! hahaha..So all 3 of us got into the queen sized bed. With me in the middle ^^ and tried to sleep. But i kept hearing weir noises. And May didn't even dare to lie down. She was hugging her teddy so tightly and sitting up in bed. After about an hour, there was a knock on the door! I immediately sat up and May hugged her bear tighter! lol..Foong Sze went to open the door and our visitor stepped in. hahaha! Jack and Tian Hao took one look at the two of us and asked us what was going on. lol.. It seems that May and I looked like we had been seeing ghost. So in the end, the two guys took over our room and the three of us moved into the guys room :) I was all smiles! lol..Seriously!! Our room was THAT scary! Wei Tian was kind enough to lend me his yellow packet. The thing you get from the temple to protect you :) lol..

The second day went pretty muchlike the first..snorkelling in the morning :) But afterlunch, we took this really really long and tiring hike around the pulau besar! The view was amazing. But i met my "best friend" along the way. The milipede was so huge!! Seriously. It was probably thicker than my third finger!! And super long...I was screaming away and Dii was waving it infront of all of us on a stick..lol

That night, Dii brought us to the bar. The guys each had a can of beer. Then i ordered a Mojito, the girls shared a long island and wei tian had one too. Jack ordered something else. And we got Dii the graveyard! lol..My mojito was really nice :) So was wei tian's long island. Jacks drink was nicer than mine. Mine was really really mild whilst his had more alcohol in it. The graveyard wasn't bad either. lol.. Then, some of the others left and Jack, Tsuey Kuan, Hua Min, Tian Hao and I stayed back to finish our game of uno and wait for the blue sand!! Alas! At around 1 am, it started raining :( no blue sand! and we got drenched running back to the hotel in the rain!! sobs!

On the third day, we had to leave :( Exams were for a month...but holidays are over sooooo fast! We took lots of photos and then said bye to Dii..We reached KL at around 4.30 am. Then said bye to each other and the holiday was over!

It was fun fun fun having the holiday with them! Can't wait fornext year's holiday! :) I love you people!! ^^

2010-05-01T02:21:00.000-07:00

She sat at the table and tried her best to study. It was past 1 and somehow, she just couldn't concentrate. The stuff she was thinking off was amazingly far off from what she was supposed to be studying but then again, it wasn't her fault after all, was it? The stuff in those thick books were just so dry and boring. How could anyone be forced to read that stuff and actually remember it! They were the total opposite of story books that she could jump into and use her imagination in! She couldn't even sms as her dad was using her phone for something.

Finally, she decided that since staying up to study wasn't helping, sleep might be a better idea. With a loud snap, her books were shut and the rustling of papers could be heard as she gathered up her notes and prepared to head to bed. But tonight, sleep didn't seem to come either. After tossing and turning around for more than an hour, she finally fell into a light sleep. Somehow, her eyes were closed but she knew what was going on around her! After what seemed like an eternity, she finally heard the sounds of the house waking up to another long day. After a short debate in her head on whether to get up or continue sleeping, the decision was made. No use sleeping in when this kind of sleep was just as annoying as not getting any sleep!

She had a dozen things on her to-do list and somehow, she didn't think that she'd manage to finish even half of it. And then the sms came in, "what time did you get back last night?"

"After 1? ^^"

"Guess it didn't cross your mind that i was waiting for your call."

A feeling of dread started to unfurl from the pit of her stomach as she replied his sms.

"I'm sorry..i thought u meant sms you if i got back before 12."

"Well if i were you i'd tell the other person that i'll be home really late and that you don't have to wait. Also propose another time/day perhaps??"

With that sentence. The tiny bit of cheerfulness that she was feeling after she got up deserted her and depression took over. It hadn't been done on purpose...

"Yeah..I should have..I'm sorry"

After a long long time of not getting a reply, she was starting to wonder if she should have said something more. Somehow, this was the way things always went. Her making a mess of things and not knowing how to settle it. Or rather, not having the courage to say anything and being stubborn. She wouldn't reply more than once. Too much ego for that. Plus, she didn't know what to say anyway and she HAD apologised. Things might end up worse than they already were. Or maybe she was just thinking too much again. Somehow, that was another of her tendencies. Over thinking things and making small things seem huge. Letting her imagination go wild!

As she was trying to start studying again, she suddenly remembered that she had promised to sms Jake when she got her phone back.

"hey!"

"I thought you'd forgotten about your friend already. Left alone in the silent cold night!"

Typical of Jake to send a message like that. They were always arguing good naturedly but today, she just wasn't in the mood for this kind of friendly banter.

"Sigh"

"What happened to you? Reply me with a sigh, i was just joking only la! ^^ you don't sound alright."

That got her going about what happened and what she thought. At the end of it, she really did feel sorry that everything had been dumped on him but it helped. At least it wasn't stuck in her head looking for a way out anymore.

Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day?

"Life is a one-way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back."
Isabel Moore

18.04.2010

2010-04-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

Super loud drumbeats, 1 acoustic guitar, 2 electric guitars, 1 piano and a ton of new songs = youth leading the song service. lol.

I was just standing there watching the reactions of different people. Usually the song service in the main service is demure and not so noisy with the same songs. lol. But since the youth were doing it today, it was really really upbeat :) I suppose some people weren't used to it? Cause they just stood there and stared. lol. They might say that they're fine with it, but from the expression on their faces, they were shocked. hahaha! I wasn't familiar with the some of the songs ^^ (that's what happens when you don't join the youth for a long long long time XD ) So, i spent my time watching other people instead :)

The funniest part was when they finished the second song. After the first song, quiet a number of people were clapping. After the second song, there was one solitary person clapping. lol. And after the third song, there was silence XD

I really should join the youth again, but the last time i joined them was 3 years ago? lol. And it was really quiet and i didnt talk to anyone and it was just plain weird. So, i shall think about joining them again ^^ mind you, i said 'think'.

2010-04-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

Between not being able to sleep and exams that are coming up, i'm going mad. The world seems to be moving at such a fast pace and I don't seem to be able to keep up much less catch up. With all the free time that i have staring at the ceiling trying to get to sleep, i've been thinking alot.

You know what i realised? I was actually trying to find someone that i could talk to. And so many names came up, but none stuck. Out of 160 over people in my msn list, about 60 come online every night. And i tried to count how many people i could actually talk to. Only about 5 of them talk to me regularly. 5 out of 160! or if you want to make it sound better, 5 out of 60! Which is about almost 10%?

Take my handphone as the next example. Just as many names in there. But when i need to find someone to talk to, its probably the same two people that i talk to on msn. Why? I don't want to disturb the other people cause they're always busy. Back to the statisics, lets just say there are 100 names in my phone (probably there are more. But to make it easy, we'll take 100). 2 out of 100? only 2%? O.o" How sad is that? What's the use of having so many people around when i can't talk to them? Anyway, that was just me being emo in the middle of the night. You know, pitch dark blackness and total silence makes you think weirdly! XD I mean, me calculating stupid stuff like this in the middle of the night? I'm definitely going nuts.

Lately, i've been sitting in what Kevin calls the "loners corner" in the library. lol. It's a part of the library where they have cubicles with just one table and chair in it. So the place is sort of totally yours. And you're isolated from other people eventhough you can still hear them talking =.=" It's a library for goodness sakes! And there are bright orange signs on the wall saying "SILENT AREA". And yet, they talk like they're the only people in the world. sigh. I've been really grumpy lately :) and getting grumpier. Everyone else is too. Must be the stress levels. Anyway, I really like sitting in the "loners corner" (yeah, i know i don't have a life). But seriously, its so peaceful. Or rather its peaceful from 8 am to 10 am. After that it gets noisy till about 4pm. And then it's peaceful again. Nice and quiet. Nobody bothering me. lol. Even my parents think i'm nuts. They don't get why i want to go to uni early and come home late just to sit in the library. hahaha. But i find it peaceful.

I'm bored and stressed and tired. sobs..

FRIM 30.3.2010

2010-04-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

Beautiful tuesday morning :) May, Wai Wai, Shirley, Foong Sze, Jack and I went to FRIM for the fun of it. We actually wanted to go to Penang and Malacca but it got cancelled. So, i suppose those two would have to wait till after our finals? ^^

Anyway, due to the jam in PJ and KL and everything, we arrived at FRIM late. Around 10 am. Then we went to get our tickets for the canopy walk! Foong Sze was warning all of us about leeches and telling us that she had salt. lol. And I was giving everyone the mosquitoe repellent which they said wasn't needed cause there wouldbe no mosquitoes. hahaha.

Then, we started our 'hike'. I say 'hike' in inverted commas because it wasn't much of a hike. More like a tar road and long walk. lol. When we reached the road to the canopy walk, there were some FRIM employees putting red tape across the entrance. At first, we thought we wouldn't be able to go up. But then I asked the guy if we could go and he was like, "cepatlah". So we climbed over the red tape and continued our journey ^^

Nothing much happened going up to the canopy walk and down from it. But I've got to say, I was so super scared! I'm scared of heights. And the canopy walk thing was a ladder between one platform to the other, with planks on it and netting on the side! Gosh! And it was so super high up! Scary :) But the longer i was up there the less scared i felt. Which was a good thing. I know i'm not over my phobia of heights but at leasti made it up there! :)

I didn't bring the camera which was a total waste. I could have taken pictures faster with the camera than with my phone. Lesson learnt! Remember to charge the camera battery ^^ and i need to get a new memory card for the other camera!

When we got down, May and I thought that we were lost. Cause we were walking much faster than the others and we saw a sign that said 15minutes to Exit. So we walked and walked and walked and walked. lol. And we saw no sign of an exit! Just a long tar road. In the end we stopped for the others to catch up, and then continued walking. It was more like 45minutes to Exit. XD

Jack said that they saw a small green snake and Foong Sze screamed! lol. The snake didn't scare him but her scream did. XD We left FRIM at about 12 something and went to Foong Sze's house to shower and everything then we went to Curve to have lunch.

By the time we had lunch, it was almost 3. I was starving!!! What did i have for lunch? :)

15 meatballs, Fries, 2 large potatoes (May wouldn't eat them and i thought it was a waste..rubbish bin..lol) 2 cups of pepsi and a McFlurry!

I was full!! hahaha. The girls and I walked around for abit to do some shopping. Poor Jack. Left walking around aimlessly. lol. After that, Wai wai, Shirley and Foong Sze had to go home. So, Jack, May and I were supposed to have dinner together. But then her bro called and needed her to pick him up. So it was just Jack and I. lol. And no big surprise but we ended up in Club 9 playing pool :)

He beat me in 10 games straight :( sobs. And it only took him about an hour plus. With Tian Hao, at least it took about 2 hours plus! But i won the last game :) Meaning my luck is back? lol. I hope it's back in time for the rematch with the both of them!

Platform 3 :)

Spiderweb and Sunshine!

The five of us. I just realised that this is the first group photo we have ^^

Group 5 people :)

Monday to Sunday

2010-03-27T22:04:00.001-07:00

Monday : Was nerve wrecking..made my decision and also, there was the interview which i felt i seriously flunked!

Tuesday : Was boring and i was feeling soooooo down..almost died! But Lum gave me a call at night. He said i sounded off in FB so he wanted to find out what was going on. lol. We had a nice chat until about 2 am when i went to sleep ^^

Wednesday : Was more fun :) I went to uni early cause i was meeting Neil at 8.30 am! I know! So early right?? lol. It was fun. We talked alot. Or rather he talked alot and i laughed alot XD Then Kevin joined us as well. I got my waffle with chocolate and peanut butter! :) At around 10.30, Amily and i left Taylor's for SEGI, to support Jen's save the environment campaign. Had a walk around the place and hung out for awhile then decided it was time to head back to Taylor's. As we were leaving, i spotted a familiar figure walking into SEGI! lol. Guess who it was?? Char siew pau! lol. What a coincidence right?? But he looks more like a Jonathan than char siew pau right now. Amily was of course happy. lol. Oh and most importantly :) My cousin's not angry at me anymore! ^^ Highlight of the day XD

Thursday : I only had two hours of class. Went to the library o return and borrow books and pay my overdue fines! It cost me RM8.50!! O.O" all because i forgot :( that's what forgetfulness gets you. An empty pocket! After that, we went for lunch and everything. Then Tian Hao and I went to play pool at club 9. He beat me for 10 games straight!! sobs. I suppose this is revenge for the last time i beat him. lol. But all my games were lost by just one ball or the black ball :) So it wasn't that horrid. I insist on a rematch!! hahaha

Friday : Went to the library to print out the stupid law assignment that i slaved over till 1 am the night before. And guess what??? The stupid computer refused to print my assignment! So i decided that i wasn't meant to hand it in :) Just left it alone and went for the Audit lecture. Then right after lecture, i went off to Ipoh!

Saturday : Got home from Ipoh. My parents decided to leave slightly earlier than expected :)

Sunday : I've really got nothing much to do except sit here and daydream about how much fun Tuesday is going to be.

2010-03-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

Whatever I said,

whatever I did,

I didn't mean it,

I just want you back for good

I've made up my mind and i solved most things that needed to be solved.

The one thing that's not solved yet can't be solved by myself.

And i have a feeling things are going to be like that for quite awhile.

I suppose, the mask of smiles and laughter is going to have to come on until i feel better.

But then again, it doesn't really matter

The mask is like the real me

The only difference is how i feel

Others won't notice it

I've given up trying to understand others

It's much too tiring

Instead, i'm learning to let things go

And hopefully, they'll understand me

I can't solve everything

And worrying and thinking about it is just going to bother me

and put a frown on my face

So i'm just going to let ie be

and see how things go...

2010-03-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

What do you do when someone says their not angry or upset at you but you know that they are because their actions say so? I tried asking. All i get are one worded answers. This kind of feels like something that happened a few years back. But with a totally different person. If i didn't care it wouldn't matter so much. But unfortunately, him acting like that and ignoring me makes me angry too. When i ask, you'll just say everything's fine and that i think too much. Am i really thinking too much? I think not. Actions speak louder than words! I even apologised when i didnt exactly have to! But you still seem unhappy. Then i hear that you've been asking others and you're not happy with the 'excuse ' i gave you. Its unfortunate that i don't have the guts to ask you straight! You say i treat you coldly? Whose giving me the cold shoulder now?? You treat me coldly more often that i treat you coldly!

2010-03-20T04:11:00.000-07:00

Say yes or no? I like him, but i'm not sure how much. I don't think i know him well enough. He asked and i asked for time. Which means i have to think about it. He says he'll accept my decision and take my time. But he's reminded me 3 times already. I don't want to regret my decision. But i'm scared i'll make the wrong one. It usually ends in disaster for me. It might end in disaster again. I thought this was supposed to be easy.

Jack says i'm pessimistic. But i can't help it. I've learnt my lessons about not thinking. But what if i'm over thinking? Thats bad too right? Which is better? thinking or not thinking?

Btw, thanks for listening to me complain and all Jack..I'd probably go crazy if you weren't on call 24/7 ^^ hahaha

I have so many other things to think about as well. Assignment due on friday, CIMA global business challenge due on 1st april, my interview on monday, my cousin.......

Follow Up

2010-03-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

ok :) I know this is about a week from the time i posted that i was bored. But i haven't finished the story..lol..

After we got soooooo bored, we (May and I) decided to take a walk around the campus. lol. And i suggested going to the basketball court eventhough we didn't have a basketball and we were both wearing skirts. lol. Kind of dumb right? But we really had nothing else to do. So we went.

On the way there, we almost turned back cause the smellllll of the cow dung was sooooooo super strong! So smeeelllllyyyy!! (theres an illegal cow farm right beside the campus) But we persevered!! We fought the urge to turn back and walked on to the courts!

When we were almost there, May suggested saying hi to the random people who were playing basketball. I said no, and she said yes, i said no, and she said yes! hahaha. In the end i won :) we were about to turn back when we saw someone waving at us from the futsal court. lol. It was seriously funny lo. I couldn't recognize who it was. But then May said it was Saw Jin. lol. So we decided to go and say hi.

Nicole, Ivan, Sim and May Choo's brother (Jun Ho) was there :) They were frisbee-ing in the futsal court. So we had our first taste of playing with a frisbee! :) It was super fun. But too bad we couldn't run around and jump cause of the skirts. lol..We played for about an hour, then went back to the computer lab to collect May Choo and go for lunch..hahaha

Then, we went to makan, we bumped into the frisbee people again, so had lunch with them. Then after that, we went for our classes lo :) But the funny thing is, May and I went to the library to borrow a book and we bumped into them AGAIN!! hahaha..3 times in a day! lol..not that thats a bad thing ^^ lol

Then in the evening, we went for Ching Yi and Wen Yee's birthday celebration :) We definitely made the most noise in the shop. hahaha. Sang happy birthday to the both of them about ten times!! lol...

2010-03-10T19:43:00.001-08:00

I am so so so so so so bored!!! 4 bloody hours of break...and nothing to do!

Sigh..thats what happens when lectures get canceled at the last minute. If i had known earlier i could have stayed home and only come to college at 2pm instead of 10 am!!! And now, i'm stuck in the computer lab with nothing to do. And unfortunately, in the new campus, games aren't allowed meaning i'm just sitting here staring at the computer screen doing nothing. I really should start my law assignment. But i don't have the materials with me and i maxed out my library card. Borrowed 5 books already so i can't borrow anymore until i return some. So, i can't start my assignment. If i were hardworking, i could go to the library and start my assignment there. But then again, the computers there are super slow and so i'd probably just end up staring at the computer screen again!

I should have gone to sunway when i had the chance earlier. Or i should at least have gone to SS15. At least i could be playing pool now instead of being so super bored here in the new campus.

may and i are going out of our minds already!!!! Somebody save us...sobs.. May Choo is being a nerd and studying...so is Shirley...Thats actually what may and i should do...but instead we're just hanging around complaining about how boring it is and how there is absolutely nothing to do here..lol

To go? Not to go? lol

2010-03-10T05:31:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes you want something sooooo super badly. And then when you get it, you suddenly don't feel like you want it anymore?

That's what i'm feeling right now. But I know that if i don't go, i'm going to regret it after i make that decision. Cause once i make that decision, i'm going to want it as badly as before. I went through the same thing before going for the interview in Exxon and look how it turned out! I am toally happy that i went cause i totally enjoyed myself there! To go or not to go? If i call now and say i don't want to go, its going to be really bad for me. I feel like i want to go. But i also feel like i don't want to go. And i know that even though i'm saying this, i will end up going cause i want to go? lol

I know, i know, su yen is a very confusing person. At times, even i have a tough time understanding her! And the amazing thing is that...I am her! hahaha

2010-02-26T19:23:00.000-08:00

I can deny it a million times

I can swear that its not true

But who would believe me

if i don't believe it myself?

Ignore or avoid?

2010-02-24T02:09:00.001-08:00

What would you do if you think someone likes you but you don't share that same feeling? Would you avoid that person?

That was a question i was asked. And i said i would avoid. The next question was don't i think thats mean? Isn't avoiding and ignoring the same thing?

My answer, yes it's mean and no, avoiding and ignoring is not the same. Why? For me, ignoring would be not talking to the person even if he/she was dying. They talk to you and you pretend you don't hear. That kind of thing. Avoiding on the other hand, means that i would still talk to the person but not initiate anything. Avoiding as in physically.

The next question, isn't avoiding mean then? Isn't it better to ignore than avoid? With ignoring, the person is only rejected once but with avoiding, you give false hope.

Again, yes avoiding is mean and yes it would be better to ignore. But unfortunately, I don't ignore people! I just can't ignore someone for that reason. To me, i'm not giving that person any hope. But if someone talks to me, what's wrong with talking to the person? Thats my point of view. Of course other people would have different points of view.

The next question was, I bet you've not liked many people before.

I don't really get what this means and so i interpreted it as i haven't liked many people before and so i don't know how to ignore? Or maybe the question was not many people have liked me before and so i don't know how to ignore?

I have liked my fair share of people before. I just don't fall for every tom, dick and harry that i see. And as for people liking me, I might not be perfect but i'm not exactly hopeless either!

I can ignore people. I just don't like doing it! I mean, i wouldn't want someone i like to ignore me just because i like him and he doesn't share the same feelings! I wouldn't want to lose a friend for this reason.

And the last question, are you that afraid to lose a friend???

I'm not afraid to lose a friend. It's not that i'm afraid! If i have to lose a friend. Then, fine! I don't have a problem with that unless that person means alot to me. But who would want to lose a friend? If you can keep the friend, why lose the friend?

I couldn't say everything that i wanted to say because for the people who know me well, I can't just say things to people that i don't know that well or don't feel that comfortable around. I can only be super truthful to someone that i feel totally comfortable with and know well. As for being mean to a person, i only do it if i'm comfortable with the person. (So if i'm mean to you, you should be happy XD) And so, i answered the questions in very polite manner at that time.

I suppose another reason why i avoid is because i don't have the courage to tell someone that i like them and i also can't tell someone that i don't like them. But then again, how do you tell someone that you don't have those feelings if the person doesn't tell you their feelings even though they might show them?

Cleaning up!

2010-02-05T23:08:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Alot of cleaning up is going on.

Just afew days ago while i was looking through my stuff,i found something that made me laugh :)
It was my last will and testament. lol. I remembered writing it during this period of time when i was super emo with my best friend! and it made me laugh. I wanted a white coffin and i wanted to be cremated. My reasoning : I hate worms. lol. And i left a note reminding whoever it was that was certifying my death to make sure that i was dead! Cause i didn't want to be burnt alive..the horror of it all...hahaha. I even wrote down what i wanted to be written on my tombstone and it was complete with a poem! hahaha. Then there was item 34 which said that all my friends phone numbers were in my phone and a list of people that were to be told that i had passed away XD

Anyway, thats all stuff that i probably wouldn't write now and it made me think about how childish i used to be! XD but then again, i was a child back then ^^

23rd January 2010

2010-01-23T07:43:00.000-08:00

Doctor's Visit....

I went to see the skin specialist yesterday. After my mum forced and scared me into going to see him. XD It wasn't too bad except for the fact that i had to wait from 2.30 to 5.30 just to see the doctor. lol..

And while i was there, I couldn't help but notice their control system. hahaha! Mr.Mahathir would be so proud of me. His audit classes are actually getting into my head. Like, when i go there, i have to go the the central registration counter and sign in. Then they key it in and give me a form which i then have to leave with the nurse serving that doctor. Then the doctor writes on the form which is then given back to the nurse. She scans the barcode on the form and puts the medication needed into the computer system. I then have to bring it to the dispensary and there, they scan the barcode and I pay (or rather, mum pays..lol). It immediately sends a message to the pharmacist who then gets my medicine ready and passes it to me :) Total segregation of duty! XD

This is boring stuff. hahaha. I was actually kind of shocked when i found myself thinking of audit!! Of all subjects AUDIT! lol...in a hospital..lol

Anyway, the doctor said i have severe allergies :( so he changed my soap and everything. Now, i'm supposed to wear gloves when i do housework =.=" and other stuff...sobs!

The funny part was when i went to see the pharmacist for my medicine and creams. He handed me the bag and instead of saying, "here's ur medication." he said, "Here are your Steroids." hahaha! makes me sound like such a terrible person. Steroids. Good thing i'm not in any sports competitons XD Later kena banned! lol..

I just hope his meds work. I hate swallowing pills! takes me a glass of water for each pill i have to swallow =.=" By the time i take the medicine, i'm so bloated! hahaha

21st January 2010

2010-01-20T22:31:00.000-08:00

About Yesterday :)

I was supposed to go shopping with the girls yesterday. Clothes for CNY and stuff,cause i looked through the clothes that i got already and it seems to be made up of tops! and dresses! =.=" i have no idea why i bought those dresses. Don't even know when i'm going to wear them! hahaha

Anyway, we were supposed to go to Times Square. but because of darling may, we thought we had to get back to subang by 4.15 latest. Which would leave us with very little time to shop! hahaha...so we decided to go to KLCC instead. Instead of a Shopping Spree, I had an Eating Spree! lol..this is the first time they've seen em eat so much in a day. So, they were laughing at me the whole time! Made me feel so bad..hahaha

First we went to sakae sushi where i had a gyu don, and 4 plates of sushi :) Then i went to NZ Natural to get 2 scoops of my favourite ice cream. And then we walked around for abit. We went ot the playground, walked around outside. Then I showed them where ExxonMobil was :)

After that, i went to buy famous amos cookies! And then we left to go back. At KL Sentral, i bought large fries, then when we reached subang, i bought apong ^^ hahaha! Then we were waiting for may's parents to come so i ate KFC.

After she left, we adjourned to the Taylor's new campus for ECA day. It was supposed to start at 5! We reached at about 5.15 and the MPH was still empty. But i saw the AIESEC booth was ready already, so we went to see the club that we newly joined ^^ The Chinese Society. The irony of it all is that i don't know how to speak, read or write in chinese! lol

So helped them abit with the board and then just walked around chatting and saying hi to people :) After that, my cousin brought jack, foong sze, shirley and i around for a tour of the campus! The MAC lab is seriously nice!!! Too bad it isn't for us to use :( I'm pretty sure that i'm going to get lost on my first few days there. Too many rooms and all..lol

We went for an adventure too..to something that looked like the basement! hahaha.. The girls and i were saying if we got killed down there, nobody would know! XD Then at around 9, the girls left, so my cousin, jack and i went to the carpark to go home too!! lol

It was kinda jam getting out of there. And jack missed afew turnings sending me home. lol. So we ended up heading back to subang!! hahaha.. So we decided to go makan near my place. My cousin was kind of pissed i suppose :) cause I only told him we were eating and he was home already. Sorry cuz! ^^ but you told me you were home already. And i did ask you if you wanted to eat and you said you'd go home and eat your cookies. lol.

Anyway, that was about all that happened yesterday. I was super tired last night! hahaha..fell asleep so fast! :)

19th January 2010

2010-01-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

Saying Goodbye...

Just about a week ago, i posted the post about The Dash. And today, i attended a funeral at which the person read out part of the poem. It was the funeral of an old lady that i had only met maybe 20 times? But she was really nice and kind. Sort of like my grandmother. I didn't really feel like going. It wasn't because i didn't want to pay my last respects. I did. It's just that i never know what to say to the persons relatives. But in the end, i went anyway.

What i was told to say was "I'm very sorry for your loss." But i ended up just shaking hands and saying hi. Yeah, I know. I suck at this kind of thing. But i just blanked out. The words condolences and sorry for your loss never made it out of my mouth. But i hope that actions speak louder than words. And so me being there would be better than me saying anything.

Being there actually reminded me of my grandfather and grandmother's funeral. When they said that we could go and pay our last respects before they bring the casket to the crematorium, i didn't dare to go and see. Then i saw people sobbing, and unfortunately, afew tears blurred my eyes too. The weird thing was that i wasn't crying for her. I was crying for them. They looked so sad that i felt sad too!

Then at the crematorium, they gave each of us a rose. To put on the casket when we paid our last respects. when they were pushing the casket into the flames, i was just watching from the chair. And it was like deja vu. The flames looked exactly the same as how hey looked when my grandfather passed away eventhough this is PJ and that was Johor. So orange and fierce.

After that, we left. Told my parents friends that we had to go. And they were saying, "thank you for being here." I felt bad cause i didn'tknow what to say. And u know me, i have tons to say!! But at funerals, i'm dumb.

Going to that funeral today made me think about alot of things. Maybe i'll post that up some other time. Goodbye...for now :)

13th January 2010

2010-01-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

I don't really know what to write about. I don't really have the mood to do anything at the moment. My exams are just around the corner. Two days away to be exact. And i can't seem to concentrate. Everything is a blurr and i'm just super confused. I've got something bugging me and i don't know what it is. Thst's just totally annoying. I'm scared but my brains don't seem to be working. They're being rebellious and i can't seem to force them to get into "work mode". These are my midterms!!! I gotta do well. I can't fail. I always panic. But this time the panic isn't making me study harder!! My mind seems so clogged up with stuff. I'm always thinking. But unfortunately, its not about exams.

*deep breath in...deep breath out*

*sigh*

I need to clear out my mind. Too much stuff inside. Stuff that is unneccessary and total rubbish. But i'm still keeping it up there for goodness knows what!

I should take up meditation! :)
hahaha! I shall try it tonight!! It should help me clear my mind AND make me calmer with not so many mood swings. That's the other thing that's bothering me! My mood swings.. I don't like being moody.

Okay :) off to try out meditation. (though i don't know exactly how it's done XD)
I suppose i'll just sit down quietly and relax and think of green fields with golden buttercups ^^ and buterflies flitting around, birds chirrupping!! ^^ I think you get what i mean!

10th January 2010 (2nd post)

2010-01-10T00:04:00.000-08:00

Words fly here and words fly there..
These words are like weapons
Leaving wounds everywhere..
They fight and they fight..
they scream and they yell
From morning till night
Its a version of hell..

My mum once told me,
Think before you speak..
Then why don't they do it?
It takes only a minute..
In they're fits of anger,
They don't stop to think
The consequences of those words
Which leave scars so deep..

They say forgive and forget..
Leave and let be..
For awhile that might happen
Then it starts over again.
Actions they say,
Speak louder than words..
And they're actions show me
What this life will be...

Filled with worries, Filled with fears,
So many reasons for all of my tears..
They don't see them falling,
And so they'll never know..
How much it hurts my feelings,
Everytime they have a row..

I've prayed for them, On bended knee,

I've prayed for my whole family..

A miracle could happen

I've told myself before..

But just when its happening,

It goes back as before..

Each time that happens,

I hope yet again,

That that is the last time,

It won't happen again..

This time i pray as i prayed before..

And this time i hope as i've hoped before..

I hope that it's different..

That things will change..

But deep in my heart..

A little voice says...

It will happen again, Your biggest fear..

And it's evil laughter echoes in my ears...

10th January 2010

2010-01-09T22:39:00.000-08:00

The Dash by Linda Ellis

I read of a man that stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He reffered to the dates on her tombstone
From beginning till the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears
But he said what matter most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash,
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

I heard this poem when i was in church today, and i felt that it was a really nice poem. Something that everyone should read. It describes that little dash in totally new way. One that i wouldn't have thought of on my own.

Everything said in the poem is true,
But it's not the easiest thing to do.
I wish that i could follow it through,
But only God knows what i'm going to do

:)

8th January 2010

2010-01-08T05:59:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i really wonder what's going on. People fight all the time. But have you ever heard of people fighting over a word?? Maybe if you want to have the copyright to the word then you'd fight for it. But the thing is, this word has existed for such a very very long time. And alot of people irregardless of their religion, race or background have been using the word for such a very very long time as well. The point is, why cause trouble when there was none to start with.

Burning churches? Insulting other's religious symbols? A little bit of tolerance would go a long way here. I'm very sure that no religion asks anyone to go out and hurt or insult others. No matter what the religion, it usually teaches good. The only thing that happens when people fight is that other people get hurt. And in this case, the people who might get hurt, might be people who aren't involved in the first place. Just like in economics. This would be called negative externalities :) Third party people who are not involved but get affected by it.

1st January 2010

2009-12-31T07:31:00.000-08:00

It's exactly half an hour to 2010. This will be my first blogpost for the year :) I actually have another blog, but, i decided to start a new one cause its the New Year so i felt like a New Blog XD I don't have a clue as to why my blog is named prettypinkpoppypetals. I don't even know if poppies are pink! ^^ But somehow, it just sounded nice. Every word starting with 'P' :) so prettypinkpoppypetals it is!

I've learnt and done many new things in 2009. And i definitely look forward to doing many more in 2010! I shall not do a reflection in this post (quite sick of reflections..hahaha..so many to do for my assignments!) even though a reflection is the key to learning about and improving yourself ^^ (or so they say XD and i agree)

Eventhough I am not going to do a reflection, I AM going to do make a resolution :)

1) Make sure i get my work done before i have fun ^^ this is going to be hard. I procrastinate ALOT when it comes to doing my homework! lol.. I always think that i have lots of time to do i and end up panicking at the end XD (but i suppose it's human nature!)

2) Be more patient, appreciative and understanding (with family and friends :)

3) Try to apply what i've learnt throughout the last year (lots of the AIESEC stuff is actually useful if i manage to apply them. I'm going to miss that lively bunch of people)

4) Keep my room clean..hehe.. This is something that's been on my list for years!! I actually manage it for maybe a week or two. And then i get lazy again ^^

5) Make the most of my year by taking all opportunities that come my way!

I think that's about all :) I'm not going to set too many resolutions cause i want my resolution to be achievable! ^^

Happy New Year People!!